i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
even my farts smell like vagina
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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