when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
