Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
