Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
