So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
