I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
