I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
