Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
