Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
