Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
