Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
