She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
why is half of my head shaved?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
