its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
