You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize