dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
