i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
