if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
