My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
