you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
