the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
