I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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