my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
third nipple confirmed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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