her vagine was all disorganized.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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