I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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