I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My pussy is not your playground.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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