The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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