yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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