i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
