Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
