so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
