You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
