I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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