dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
