I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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