How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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