I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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