What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
