It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
