note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
