..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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