I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize