I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
