soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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