Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
