I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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