I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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