yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
