wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
