white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
