if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why didn't you poke me back
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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