we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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