Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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