I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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