i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have fence marks all over my body
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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