those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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