you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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