But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
