At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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