The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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