whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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