just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
