Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
