It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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